Glonk: A LAUGH A MINUTE

Now I spend most of my time giggling, for proof click your rodent (and if you don't have a soundblaster type jobbie: hahahaha I do now!!!), and here's some stuff that has made me giggle recently.

"Glonk update your homepage"
Timo

Bloke walks into a bar and orders a beer. He gets it and the bar man says, "I don't mean to be rude or pry, but can I ask you why you have an orange as a head?" The bloke says, "Yeah, I was on holiday in Kos walking along the beach and I stumbled across a lamp. A geenie came out and granted me three wishes. First I wished for as much money as I could ever want, and I've got it. Secondly I wished for beautiful women all over the world to fall in love with me, and they do." "So what was your third wish?" "I wished for an orange as a head."
Matt

Bloke walks into a bar, and goes up to the bar man saying, "If I do something really amazing, will you like give me a free drink?" The bar man is not convinced he will be amazed, so he agrees. The bloke brings out of his pocket a tiny man playing a piano. The bar man says, "Wow mate, how did you do that!?" The bloke smiles and pulls a lamp out of his other pocket, "Just rub this and make a wish." A minute later the bar is filled with a million ducks, "Hey," says the bar man, "I didn't ask for a million ducks!" "Oh, and do you think I asked for a twelve inch pianist?"

"Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?
Cos it's neck is so far from it's bum."
Maija

"I'm so tired," complained a girl to her best friend. "Last night I didn't sleep until after three."
"I'm not surprised you're tired," her friend replied. "Twice is usually all I need."

What's brown and sticky?
A stick.

Rule One: Everything that can go wrong will.
Rule Two: The student who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone else to blame.
Rule Three: Ordinary waffle is heard on TV. Pure waffle is found in essays.
Rule Four: All great discoveries were made by mistake.
Rule Five: When all else fails, read the instructions.

A hunter was walking through the forrest when he came upon a naked woman lying on the ground. "Are you game?" he asked. "Yes!" she cried. So he shot her.

I'm going to join the Nick Abbot mailing list today.

Bloke walks into a bar and orders six shots of vodka. "Celebrating something are you, Sir?" asks the barman. "Yeah, my first blowjob," replies the bloke. "In that case I'll give you the 7th one on the house." "Thanks, but if six don't take the taste away nothing will."